9 Best Tips on How to Stop Being Critical Of Others
Being critical of other people has few benefits and many adverse effects. Yes, it may make you feel better about yourself, but it can also ruin your relationships with people and bring misery in the long run.
It is important that you stop being critical of others. But how do you make that happen? We have aggregated the best answers from 1o experts in this post and hope their ideas work for you.
Learn To Define Your Own Self-Worth Intrinsically – Dr. Margaret Paul
The relationship expert believes that most times, we are critical of others; we are merely projecting unto others the judgments we are leveling at ourselves. To combat that, she recommends that we learn to define our self-worth intrinsically. This way, we can see the beautiful intrinsic qualities of our true selves and let that override the self-judgment. When you are at peace with yourself, you become less critical of others.
Understanding Your Motivation – James I Millhouse, Ph.D.
This licensed psychologist believes that the first step towards being less critical of others is to understand the motivation. He stated that most people who are critical of others are not often aware that they are. When you become aware of that, the first thing to do is to understand your motivation for being critical of others. When you do, figuring out how to stop becomes a little easier.
Assume Everyone Is Doing the Best They Can – Megan Gunnell
This psychotherapist also believes that we are critical of others because we are mostly critical of ourselves. Because of that, we lookout for others who are performing worse than us and extend the judgment towards them. The biggest problem is that this doesn't really make us feel better in the long run. It is better to assume that everyone is doing the best they can and try to do the best we can, under our existing circumstances.
Perspective Shifts Can Help You Observe Your Critical Thoughts and Words – Morella Devost
This Counselor and Holistic Health Coach have three perspective shifts she believes can help us observe our critical thoughts and words – our judgments are really a reflection of ourselves, our judgment is really a reflection of our own feeling or smallness and vulnerability, and we can choose to see through the eyes of love and compassion instead of judging ourselves and others.
A Change in Perspective and Reframing Your Thoughts – Leigh-Ann Larson
Of course, it is easier to see what we look out for. Accordingly, it becomes easier to stop being critical of other people when we change our perspective about our environment and others. Instead of looking out for what is wrong and the things that can trigger your anger, this Licensed Mental Counselor recommends that you look for the things in others that you enjoy or the things that can make you smile, laugh or feel good about them.
Add the Phrase “Just Like Me” At the End of Your Statement – Ann Bell
Ann Bell is an RMT Certified Coach, and she recommends using the phrase "Just Like Me” to quench the urge to be critical of others. The idea is to understand that we are also involved in some of the wrongs we think others do. When we start seeing this, we will be less critical and even try to become better versions of ourselves.
The Three Ways Approach – Nyaima Smith-Taylor
According to the co-founder of Art & Alchemy, there are three approaches that can help us beat the habit of being critical of others – awareness of the moment we develop judgmental thoughts, becoming compassionate towards the people we judge and recognizing that we don't always see the whole story from our limited perspectives.
The “Three C’s Approach” – Adam Cole
Author and Musician Adam Coke finds Dale Carnegie's training really important. According to him, his "three C's suggestion: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain" is very difficult but rewarding. He recognizes that doing any of the three can jeopardize your relationship with others, especially people close to you. Instead of doing that, you can come up with suggestions that can benefit your relationship with them.
Start With Your Self – Katie Ziskind
This licensed marriage and family therapist recognizes that being critical of others is a reflection of your inner landscape. It is all about how you see and beat yourself up emotionally. She also believes that once you start being kinder to yourself, you will become less critical of others and eventually stop it with time. She recommends using positive affirmations to see yourself and those around you as good and enough.
Increase Your Empathy and Compassion for Others – Emily Sheera Cutler
For this certified practitioner and trainer of emotional CPR, “trauma-informed care” can be key to becoming less critical of others. This technique involves asking “what happened to you?” instead of “what is wrong with you?” The idea is to understand that people are going through a lot, and that could be the reason they seem not to meet up with your expectations. When you are empathetic and compassionate towards them, you help to heal them and also heal yourself in the process.
Final Thoughts
The most important thing to understand is that being critical of others does not help you to become a better person. It doesn’t also help the other person – rather, it demoralizes them and can push them further down any difficult emotional or psychological road they are traveling.
It is possible to stop being critical of others. You will need to start with yourself. Make peace with your inner self, even as you try becoming a better version of yourself. It is also important that you become more compassionate towards others. When you do these and stop being critical of others, you will experience inner peace and develop a better relationship with others.
