How To Find Yourself – A 6-Step Plan To Discovering The True You

One of the most important things you can ever do in your life is to get to know who you truly are. Once you know who you are deep down, your path and purpose in life become clear. You become more self-assured, self-confident, and driven than you would have ever imagined. 

When you delve deep, do some soul searching and discover who you are at the core of your being, everything else in life will come easier to you. You will know what you need to do to succeed and quit seeking acceptance from those around you. You will spend less time investing your time and efforts into the wrong career and making the life choices that aren’t right for you. 

And once you’ve found your true calling in life, you can begin to make an impact on the world. But how can you get to know this deep part of yourself? 

Read on to learn the 6 steps to finding out who you truly are… 

1. Take time to be still and quiet 

Most people are too afraid, too busy, or too caught up in who they think they are to sit in silence and evaluate themselves. But if you can’t even spend an hour with yourself, how on earth are you going to welcome and accept who you truly are?   

Let’s be real, spending an hour in total silence contemplating who you truly sound pretty scary. And with good reason; when you sit in silence with yourself, you are exposing your mind to perceived flaws and fears, with nothing to hide behind. You come to terms with aspects of your life that are hidden away, and this can be uncomfortable, to say the least. 

You see the good, the bad, and the ugly, all rolled into one, which is a lot to handle. 

But taking this time to be still and quiet is the perfect way to get to know the real you. It’s the only way to start accepting yourself and feeling comfortable in your own company. 

2. Who you are versus who you want to be 

Most of us are so wrapped up in our busy lives, at times we confuse who we are with who we want to be, desperately trying to uphold the façade to ourselves and to others. 

It’s a hard thing to realize that what you thought you wanted is based on other people’s expectations. When you learn who you really are – and not just who society expects you to be – you can tap into your own specific gifts and find your purpose in the world based on that. 

To begin discovering who you are and what unique gifts you’re blessed with, begin by taking a personality test. The Myers Briggs Test based on Jung’s theory of personality types will help you determine which of the 16 main personality categories you fall into, and give you further insight into yourself. 

Though tests like these aren’t perfect, they provide a good starting point for evaluating who you are. 

3. Discover your strengths and weaknesses

Knowing what you’re good at and not so good at will save you time when it comes to discovering your purpose in life. Instead of following false leads and trying things that you’re ultimately just not that good at (or interested in) will make it more difficult for you to realize your true potential. 

Knowing when to quit and move onto something better is a concept that gets easily confused with giving up too early. It is also something that most people find incredibly hard to distinguish. 

Know your strengths and weaknesses, and make smart, conscious choices about what you’re pursuing. 

When something doesn’t feel right, or you’re putting more into it than you’re getting out (without any passion or enjoyment) it’s a good sign to pause and evaluate your situation.  

4. Find your passion

Passion is something that resides in everyone. Passion is what drives people to work on achieving their dreams, and passion is what fuels your effort. As we know, effort produces results. 

Discover what you’re passionate about, what makes your heart sing and what you’d do for free because you love it so much. Make a list of all the things that bring you joy, or activities where you lose all track of time because you’re having so much fun. 

Getting to know who you are – and not who other people believe you to be – involves being true to yourself about the things you love. 

5. Get some feedback

If you’re getting stuck on steps 2, 3, and 4, asking those close to you is a good place to start. 

Though their opinions might not always reflect what you think of yourself, they should be taken into account. Unless you’re putting on an act the whole time, what other people think of you and see you as is often representative of who you actually are. 

Asking open-ended questions that require a longer answer can be very insightful if you’re stuck:

- What are my strengths? What can you always count on me for?

- What are my weaknesses? What can you not count on me for?

- What are my unique abilities?

- What am I the best at in the world? 

6. Evaluate your relationships

A big part of who you are can be found in the relationships you have with your family, friends, co-workers, and significant other. How you act and behave with them on a daily basis reflects who you truly are, and this includes the good and the bad stuff. 

Your loved ones, especially your significant other, will bring out the very best and the very worst in you, so observe how you react when you’re with them. 

If you don’t know and accept yourself – the real you – how can you even begin to get to know and accept other people?


If you want to start living your life as an authentic, conscious individual, the best move you can make is to find out who you really are. 

Go through these steps to start off and see where it takes you. It might be a long process, but isn’t it worth it if it will make everything in your life that much easier? 

At the end of the day, you are the only person you will be with 24/7, so it’s best to get to know yourself properly. 


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