What to Say When You Talk to Yourself? Why It Matters?

No matter how you look at it, there are two essential things that determine how your life will be: 

  • How you treat yourself 
  • How you let others treat you 

In any case, it all revolves around your image of yourself and how you project it to others.

Most people believe that words are powerful. It is actually indisputable. When you realize the potency of words, you can begin to shape your life with them.

Undoubtedly, the words of other people towards you have power. But the power cannot be compared to the power of the words you tell yourself. That is why self-talk is so powerful. The problem is that only a few people realize this.

Some of the most successful people on earth are those who have understood the importance of self-talk. They have understood that the way they manifest in the world is a reflection of the way they see themselves and, in essence, how they talk to themselves. They have realized that their perceptions create their reality, so they work endlessly to cultivate a healthy perception of themselves. 

The successful people around us have also realized that the most potent way to cultivate a healthy perception of themselves is through self-talk. We will try to break the concept down by stating the importance and providing a guide on how to use it to create a better version of ourselves. 

Why Is Self-Talk So Important

Already, we have touched on the core reasons why self-talk is important. But what exactly is self-talk, and how does it specifically impact our lives?

The best way to describe self-talk is to refer to it as ‘Internal Dialogue.’ 

Every reasonable human being engages in internal dialogue naturally throughout their conscious moments. When we pay attention to internal dialogue, we can track our innermost thoughts, beliefs, fears, and ideas. 

The nature of our self-dialogue determines our self-beliefs. It determines how we feel about ourselves and the energy we radiate. This, in turn, determines how other people see us and treat us. Overall, it determines how we interact with the world and what we can achieve in life. 

Is There Proof?

The facts we have stated above will sound like a fable to some. But these are not just random claims. Studies have actually been performed to determine the potency of self-talk. There are scientific studies that have indicated that motivational self-talk helps increase performance in young athletes. Psychologists have always stressed the importance of positive self-talk, based on anecdotal pieces of evidence they have.

From what we know, our self-talk does not only affect what we think of ourselves but also determines how we pursue our goals. A confident individual is more likely to achieve his/her life goals than someone who has self-doubts and talks down on his/herself.

There is no doubt that our thoughts, which are the products of self-talk, can become motivations or stumbling blocks. Depending on whether they are positive or negative, self-talk can motivate or discourage us from reaching for our goals or wallowing in self-pity.

How Are Our Inner Dialogue Formed? 

Before we proceed to discuss what you need to say to yourself, it is important that we explain how our inner dialogue is formed. This will help most people to start changing how they think about themselves and follow that up with positive self-talk. 

The truth about our inner dialogue is that it follows how we have been conditioned to think from infancy through childhood. Depending on our upbringing, we have all been programmed to think a certain way. The words our parents spoke when we were little and the experiences we had growing up shape how we think about ourselves and the world around us.

Just as characters are formed by parents and the individuals around us when we were growing up, our self-talk is influenced the same way. It is easier for people who had loving upbringings to have positive self-talk. Those who were not so lucky may experience some troubles with their self-talk and approach to life. 

Society also influences our developing perceptions. Societal expectations always have a stronghold on individuals. It is natural to try to conform, but you shouldn't let that determine how you see yourself.

Irrespective of how you were raised and how you have been influenced by society, you can begin to change your inner dialogue and how you see yourselves. Someone aptly said that: 

The first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think; what you think next defines who you are.

The implication is that your upbringing or conditioning does not really determine who you become. It only holds you back when you are ignorant. Once you realize that you can change so many things about your life, you can start working on yourself. The results will become evident with time. 

How to Talk To Yourself 

Knowing that you have the power to change your reality, it is important that you start changing your self-talk straight away. Here are some of the truths you need to start telling yourself to become a better version of yourself: 

  • I am capable 
  • I am going after what I want 
  • I am grateful for my life 
  • I am important 
  • I am loved 
  • I am making a difference 
  • I am responsible for my life 
  • I am strong enough 
  • I believe in you 
  • I deserve better 
  • I deserve to let go of the things hurting me 
  • I did it for love 
  • I have the right to speak up 
  • It doesn’t hurt if I try 
  • My instincts are right. 

Put some meaning to these words, believe them, and they can start changing your life real quick. 


Some will tell you that positive self-talk is self-deception. Those are individuals who know no better, and you don’t have to pay attention to what they have to say. Keeping your inner dialogue positive can have lots of positive impact on your life. As stated in the introductory part of this piece, it affects how you treat yourself and how you let others treat you. We have also stressed that irrespective of your upbringing and experiences in life, you can change your inner dialogue. The 15 suggested positive self-talks here can also help you start turning things around in your life. Don't forget to refine your external talk at the same time. Positivity will always help you achieve more in life.

How to Stop Complaining: Change It, Leave It, or Accept It
How to Stop Assuming: 10 Expert-Backed Ways
How to Meditate Without Your Eyes Closed: Do It in a Cafe
8 Life-Changing Quotes From Jim Rohn to Make You a Better Person
Don't Think Positive. Try the WOOP Technique Instead.
Forget Motivation. Reach Goals with "Implementation Intention"
How to Stop Wasting Your Life: 42 Simple Ways
Why You Need a Bullet Journal in Your Life and How to Use It
How to Master Your Craft by Copying Others: 6 Practical Tips
How to Overcome Laziness: 23 Practical Tips from Great Books
9 Life Lessons From Leo Tolstoy’s Quotes
Am I Shallow? Transforming Your Habits with Deep Work
How to Change Your Behavior and Create Habits: Tiny Can Be Big
What Are the 5 Keys to Success: Goals, Grit, Habits & More